Georgia on his mind

The Masters and I have always been connected.

In my first week on the planet, Ben Crenshaw edged out Tom Watson for his first green jacket. On my second birthday, Jack Nicklaus rose from the dead (age 46) to set Augusta on fire. When I hit 13, a first-timer named Tiger Woods blitzed a course thought to be unblitzable.

Looking back, it was inevitable. When your birthday (April 6) is so close to such a significant annual event, the two become inextricably linked. Like the rings on a tree, The Masters became my unit of measurement. The year 2000 - to me - is not about Y2K or Bush v. Gore; it is about Vijay finally breaking through. 1995 is not about Jordan's return to basketball or the Oklahoma City bombing or O.J. Simpson; it's the year Crenshaw channeled the ghost of Harvey Penick.

This makes me a bit of a freak, I suppose. A harmless and narrow-minded freak, granted, but a freak nonetheless. When Augusta comes calling, I drop everything and listen. Once a year, I retire to the bunker otherwise known as my living room and do not emerge until a champion is crowned.

For 24 years, this is precisely how I spent the beginning of April. Until this week.

After ten-plus years on the waiting list, I heard back from Hootie and Friends: I was welcome to attend the Monday practice round. What follows are some notes and observations from my day at Augusta.

€ One gigantic row of bushes (and about 800 security guards) is all that separates the traffic on Washington Road from Augusta National Golf Club. And never will you see such a discrepancy in beauty over such a small area. On one side of the bushes is as plain a town imaginable, a relative dump. And on the other is the most well-manicured garden you will ever see.

€ High definition television can show a lot, but it can't convey the sheer undulation of the course. Hills abound, and there isn't a flat putt to be found on any green. The tee shot on No. 10 is more downhill than it looks, as is the putt from the back of No. 9 green.

And the alley from the tee on No. 18 is downright scary.

€ Pimento cheese sandwiches are overrated. Yes, I said it.

€ Want to know how tough the front-right pin on No. 15 is? Tiger Woods, Mark O'Meara and Richard Green combined to hit at least seven straight shots into the water Monday, on approaches from inside 100 yards that repeatedly landed right next to the pin before rolling back down the embankment.

€ I have no idea how the pros even get their approaches on Nos. 13 and 15 into the air, let alone onto the green; the fairways leave unavoidable right-to-left side hill lies.

€ Practice rounds are definitely the way to go when attending golf tournaments. Less crowds plus more shots equals a better experience. Let's put it this way: I got to watch Tiger hit multiple tee shots into the best par 3 in golf (No. 12), multiple putts on the toughest green in golf (No. 14) and multiple approaches into some of the most exciting holes in golf (No. 11, No. 13 and No. 15, to name a few). Plus I got to see Ernie Els skip balls across the water (on No. 16) and Gary Player tell stories to the crowd on the No. 6 tee box. All for no extra charge.

€ The golfing equivalent of watching batting practice - hanging around the driving range and the putting green - never disappoints.

€ Cameras are everywhere - even when you don't know it. I thought I would have to rely on my own storytelling prowess when detailing my adventures with Tiger to friends. Little did I know, my face would show up on SportsCenter the next day (and First Take and 1st and 10 and ESPNews).

€ There's no need to worry about misplaced trash at Augusta.

Litter attendants walk the course in bright yellow jumpsuits, and their sole job is to clean up after the patrons. I dropped the label off my Masters water bottle, and before I could even bend down to pick it up, it had been disposed of.

€ If Tiger doesn't win, look out for Geoff Ogilvy. He was flat out striping the ball Monday.

€ That last point won't matter. Tiger will win.

-Adam Zuerndorfer is a News-Topic sports writer. E-mail him at adamz@newstopic.net.

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