We had barely polished off the last bite of turkey salad when I started hearing news of the salvos of political correctness being heaved toward Christmas. Under their ludicrous banner of “we don’t want to offend anyone,” they attempt to march us all into their meat grinder of a mind set that demands all mention and symbols of Christ be stricken from public places and that “Happy Holidays” become the retailers’ mantra instead of store associates gleefully greeting customers with “Merry Christmas.”

I don’t give holiday presents, I give Christmas gifts. You won’t receive a holiday card from any member of the Watts family, but you might get a Christmas card from us. The Sunday after Thanksgiving we three didn’t decorate a holiday tree, we strung lights and hung ornaments on a Christmas tree.

The Fourth of July is a holiday. Christmas is Christmas.

I really don’t care to hear anymore of these tedious stories concerning what some call the “War on Christmas.” They just make me angry and ruin my appetite for Christmas sugar cookies shaped like little elves. But there are a few other things I don’t want to hear any more about this Christmas.

Tiger Woods for instance. The tales of his indiscretions are growing even more tiresome than those of the anti-Christmas zealots. I’ll admit it is newsworthy when the greatest golfer in the world decides to become the most prolific lover in the world, allegedly having enough girls on the side to start a softball team, but hearing about his adulterous conquests ad nauseam is nerve-racking. A lot of young people looked up to Tiger as a role model and, before this disaster, they were right in doing so. His remarkable golfing skills and humble manner garnered the admiration of millions.

I’m sure there are parents out there who have told their kids they would benefit from emulating Tiger. Not so much now, I suppose. But keep in mind Mr. Woods is human and therefore subject to sin and disastrous decisions like the rest of us. Maybe if we didn’t elevate our professional athletes on to such high pedestals their falls wouldn’t be so far and their personal demise would not be quite so devastating for them and their fans.

There is another story that has been done to death lately. I’m talking about the almost famous couple that crashed a party at the White House last week. We need to know what went amiss here, that’s for certain because if these two morons had a notion to harm the President or any of the other dignitaries present, it would seem they had a free hand to do so. But if I see the tape of that bleach blonde bimbo parading around in that horrible, kitchen curtainish red dress one more time I think I might hurl a fistful of tinsel at the set. Or maybe I’ll just hurl, period.

To avoid seeming completely negative during this most joyous of seasons, I need to mention the genre of story I’d like to see more of. I want to see more reports of people helping people. I enjoy hearing about it when those who have more go out of their way to share with those who have less. Stories detailing how the hungry get fed, the cold get warm coats, and the poor children have presents to open never fail to make me smile. It would make my season brighter to see good-hearted Americans do more for those serving our country in the military and will be spending this Christmas away from their families. It’s nice to hear about folks stepping up to share in the real spirit of Christmas.

Fewer stories of Secret Service slip-ups. Fewer torrid tales of Tiger. More reports of caring and sharing. Yep, that would certainly make the bells on my bobtail ring.



Benjie Watts of Gamewell is a columnist for the News-Topic. He can be reached by e-mail at bwatts1953@gmail.com.